Diary
I want to record my learning while it is happening: the questions, the confusion, the excitement, and the moments when something begins to make sense. Science, philosophy, psychology, the Qur’an and ordinary life do not stay in separate compartments in my mind. One question takes me into another.
From notes recorded in September and October 2026
- OpeningEarlier background · before the recent encounters
Finding something worth doing
My background is in scientific research. I was used to asking questions, reading studies and trying to understand how conclusions were reached. Alongside that, I was studying Deen, my…
- Approximately mid–late September 2026 · recent disappointments in the collaboration
What I expected from teachers
Working more closely with religious teachers brought disappointment. There was a gap between the values I expected that learning to cultivate and the conduct I experienced. I do not want to…
- Approximately mid–late September 2026 · the lecture, followed by one or two unsettled days
The psychology lecture
Alongside my study of Deen, I began studying psychology. It connected with questions I already had about human behaviour, with my scientific interests and with my study of the Qur’an. I…
- Questions developing alongside those experiences · exact dates unknown
The same learner in both places
I do not differentiate between learning psychology and learning tafsir, Qur’anic interpretation, in the way people sometimes expect. The subjects are different, but I am still the same…
- The same weekend as the psychology lecture · exact date unknown
Being among people and still feeling alone
A long social gathering on the same weekend as the psychology lecture made the loneliness unusually clear. I was surrounded by people, but I had almost nothing I wanted to contribute to the ordinary conversation. My mind was occupied…
- Later reflection · already being discussed by 30 September 2026
Why philosophy became necessary
Philosophy entered because my questions about knowledge, interpretation and trust were already there. I had not set out with a plan to become absorbed in a new subject. I needed language…
- The intention to record the journey · expressed on 30 September 2026
Recording the learning while it happens
The subjects I need may include psychology, philosophy, sociology, genetics, Qur’an and Arabic. I do not want a list of disciplines to become another plan that takes the place of learning.…
- Manuscript: 14 October 2026
Reading for myself
Several of my teachers, at least three, had disappointed me. These were people I admired, people I had given the status of mentors. It left me with this big hole and a lot of questions.…
- From notes recorded in September and October 2026
The Cow and a return to the beginning
I decided to start with Surah 2, Al-Baqarah.
- From notes recorded in September and October 2026
Words I cannot hurry past
My vocabulary questions keep refusing to remain vocabulary questions.
- From notes recorded in September and October 2026
Why does He say that He sealed them?
Khatamallahu was one of those places.
- From notes recorded in September and October 2026
They say they believe
The third group confused me in a different way.
- From notes recorded in September and October 2026
The pattern, and the parts that do not fit yet
I began trying to put the descriptions beside one another.
- From notes recorded in September and October 2026
What am I trying to protect?
I needed to be clear about why I wanted psychology, philosophy and neuroscience in this inquiry.
Behind the way we act
Reading The Nurture Assumption brings me back to Fatiha, and to the beliefs, intentions and shared environments behind the way we act.
Follow the journey
From time to time, when a few reflections have gathered, we’ll share them with you by email.