Alongside my study of Deen, I began studying psychology. It connected with questions I already had about human behaviour, with my scientific interests and with my study of the Qur’an. I wanted to understand human beings more deeply. I was approaching it as a learner, not looking for a dispute between scientific knowledge and faith.
During a lecture about the brain, evolution and behaviour, the explanation was coherent. Everything flowed logically. This was a knowledgeable lecturer speaking in his field, and I followed the account as science.
Afterwards, I was frightened. For a day or two, it felt as though science was proving something against my beliefs. I was already disappointed with my Deen teachers, and now the science seemed to be taking away something much deeper. My beliefs felt shaken, as though I might lose them. I did not immediately turn this into an argument I knew how to answer.
Looking back afterwards
Only later, when I slowed down and thought it through, did I recognise the movement into philosophy. My scientific training helped me untangle it. There were findings, explanations of those findings, and claims about what a human being ultimately is. I needed to examine how one led to the next. What had the evidence established, and what further reasoning had been added?
The distinction I later put into words was quite specific. Natural selection explaining how biological complexity develops was one thing; what that explanation meant for an argument about a Creator was another. Similarly, changes in the brain affecting thought, emotion and behaviour made sense to me. The conclusion that mental life was therefore entirely physical seemed to say something more. But could I explain the difference, or was I only protecting what I wanted to believe?
One question from the lecture stayed with me. If a complex design requires a creator, would that reasoning also require a creator for God? And if God does not require one, why must something else that is complex require one? I needed to understand what this argument did and did not establish.