Journal
Earlier index
Experience periods and recording dates are different. Approximate periods are marked as such.
These reflections look back over several weeks, not a single day. In the account recorded on 30 September 2026, I described the recent scientific and religious encounters as experiences of the previous two weeks. My search for meaningful work and earlier studies form the background; some questions were developing alongside one another, and later reflection brought other distinctions into focus.
The questions behind this diary, from meaningful work and learning to the search for a place to think.
Opening
Finding something worth doing
Earlier background · before the recent encounters
My background is in scientific research. I was used to asking questions, reading studies and trying to understand how conclusions were reached. Alongside that, I was studying Deen, my…
Journal
What I expected from teachers
Approximately mid–late September 2026 · recent disappointments in the collaboration
Working more closely with religious teachers brought disappointment. There was a gap between the values I expected that learning to cultivate and the conduct I experienced. I do not want to…
Journal
The psychology lecture
Approximately mid–late September 2026 · the lecture, followed by one or two unsettled days
Alongside my study of Deen, I began studying psychology. It connected with questions I already had about human behaviour, with my scientific interests and with my study of the Qur’an. I…
Journal
The same learner in both places
Questions developing alongside those experiences · exact dates unknown
I do not differentiate between learning psychology and learning tafsir, Qur’anic interpretation, in the way people sometimes expect. The subjects are different, but I am still the same…
Journal
Being among people and still feeling alone
The same weekend as the psychology lecture · exact date unknown
A long social gathering on the same weekend as the psychology lecture made the loneliness unusually clear. I was surrounded by people, but I had almost nothing I wanted to contribute to the ordinary conversation. My mind was occupied…
Journal
Why philosophy became necessary
Later reflection · already being discussed by 30 September 2026
Philosophy entered because my questions about knowledge, interpretation and trust were already there. I had not set out with a plan to become absorbed in a new subject. I needed language…
Journal
Recording the learning while it happens
The intention to record the journey · expressed on 30 September 2026
The subjects I need may include psychology, philosophy, sociology, genetics, Qur’an and Arabic. I do not want a list of disciplines to become another plan that takes the place of learning.…
Edition history
This Opening edition was published on 26 October 2026.
Published 25 October 2026